Two Moments by Jonah Trouy

“I realized then that I had never before actually said I love you to God. I knew that I did, but I had never said those words. Later that night, as I lay in bed, I just said “I love you" over and over and over, I wouldn't even call it a prayer, but more of an apology for never saying it before.”

I’m not great at putting my emotions into words, but these moments are so important to me:

Back in 2017, I attended my first year at ACYC (Alaska Catholic Youth Conference). Before that year I had never known God for who He truly was, I just thought of Him as some kind of adult figure to look up to. Once ACYC started it was kind of strange for me. I was young, younger than I am now at least, and uneducated in my faith, but as the week progressed, I started to understand what true faith was. I attended my first adoration which I would describe as my turning point toward Christ. As I sat in the bleachers, the coordinators had set up around the altar, I saw many people moving towards the ground to kneel in front of the monstrance, and a few among them were crying. Moved by all the emotions in the stadium I silently moved down to the ground floor and knelt. I was uncomfortable and afraid of being judged for not knowing what I was doing, but as I prayed to the Lord, I started to feel his presence in me, tears fell down my face and I understood why all the others were crying as well. In that moment I heard God talking to me, not in words, but emotions, and I finally understood who He really was, as much as a kid my age could at least.

Here is another one:

About three years ago at a youth group event, a man named Ben Rossing was giving a talk about something religious (it was so long ago I don't remember exactly what). In the talk he quoted a book that Pope John Paul II wrote. The quote was in the context of Jesus appearing to JP II, and the quote comes from Jesus’ words as described in the book “The greatest pain I endure is the pain of loving you [all]” (I’m not sure exactly what the words were but it was along those lines). It was interpreted that Jesus said that not because he hates loving us, but because we don't love him as he loves us. I realized then that I had never before actually said I love you to God. I knew that I did, but I had never said those words. Later that night, as I lay in bed, I just said “I love you" over and over and over, I wouldn't even call it a prayer, but more of an apology for never saying it before. That moment still sticks out to me, it reminds me that Jesus is truly God but also truly man, he can feel lonely, sad, and abandoned just like us. I encourage anyone that the next time they have time to sit down and pray that they remember to tell the Lord that you love Him, actually say the words and mean them.

ABOUT JONAH TROUY: Jonah Trouy grew up Catholic with a great big family. He enjoys the outdoors, soccer, dancing, archery, and skateboarding.